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Monday, June 03, 2002
Do you know what fear is? Fear is sitting alone in your room at 4:00am while the whole house is silent -- it has been silent for hours -- and you hear a small voice from behind you. There is someone unexpectedly in the room with you! You turn only to find that nobody is there. You sit for several minutes not moving, staring wide-eyed at the room around you. Fear and confusion run hand-in-hand.
Then you hear the voice again. It's coming from the closet. Only this time you recognize it as the small mechanical voice of your Yoda Furby. Fear mutates. Visions of the movie Child's Play run through your head (and, inexplicably, so do scenes from the movie Gremlins -- I think it's Yoda's ears) and you begin to wonder if you are the unfortunate owner of a demon-posessed doll. Like every stupid character that gets killed near the beginning of every horror movie, you decide to check it out. You cautiously move towards the closet. Fear and stupidity run hand-in-hand.
You search through the closet, looking for the source of the disembodied voice. Fear mutates again as the movie changes from a horror/slasher movie to a psycho-drama about a young man that discovers he has multiple personallity disorder: the first, himself; the second, famous serial killer, Ed Gein; and the third his favorite Star Wars character, Yoda. Finally, the fear subsides. You decide to rumage through the closet the next morning when you aren't afraid of waking you parents up. You go to bed fully content that there must be a logical explanation for everything. Like I said, fear and stupidity run hand-in-hand.
P.S. I found Yoda in a box of my junk in the closet the next day. Since then he has only once moved during the middle of the night without any prompt and for no explained reason. Sweet dreams. . . .
| Mr. McBastard | 3:46 AM | | |
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