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Sunday, June 23, 2002
I'm the first one to say that I hate anonymous posts, and I'm the last one to admit that I'd ever make one. Sorry, Mel, I guess you knew what you were doing. But this isn't a place to air gossip; it's a place to tell how I feel. So I will do that, just and only that.
It's not that I'm mad, not at all. And I don't want it to seem that way. Because of all things I am, I'm not mad, or jealous. So what am I? New Emotion: part hurt, part embarassment, mostly confusion. But I think my inability to voice my emotions might make it appear that I'm angry -- hell, I think that’s already happened. And my tendency to bottle my emotions inside will only make things worse. So I sit here with a lump in my throat knowing that I'm probably going to blow this out of proportion -- hell, I think I've already done that too. Things look skewed and misshapen when viewed through a bottle.
So why did I lay there and take it? Maybe it's because I always 'lay there and take it'. Maybe because I was scared that they'd think I was dirty. Maybe because I was afraid to disturb them. Maybe because I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable. But if that's true, why did I move at all? Why didn't I just pretend the whole thing didn't happen. I'm good at that. But not this time. Why?
| Mr. McBastard | 11:42 AM | | |
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