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Tuesday, December 10, 2002
A little insight into what goes on behind the scenes in Centennial, room 350:
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P: So, they left you with some hot guy?
Z: Yes.
P: What are you doing?
Z: I'm writing down everything we say. Go on.
P: Hey, that's what you said. Oh, "we say".
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P: Ah lalalalalalala! (laughter and fart noises) (donkey/baby noises) I'm back, Daddy, egh! (laughter)
Z: Stop making stupid noises!
P: Why?
Z: (stares) This is hard, we need a third party to do this.
P: Wheres' Sam? He should be back any time. He should be back anytime. (wink) (hocking a lugey) Oh, that's a good one.
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Z: It's much better with the little parenthesis [sic].
P: Have you ever tried it without the parentheses? You misspelled "parenthess." You fucking misspelled "parentheses," bud.
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P: How much d'you wanna bet that the tape is in Katie and Alison's room and not Jenn and Kristen's room?
Z: (gets fifteen cents)
P: I see your fifteen cents and I will raise you Sam's picture from boyscout camp.
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P: You know what I was thinking about the other day?
Z: What?
P: OK, you know in Forest Gump, technically Jenny had sex with a retard. Why does everyone else look past this?
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P: What's up, Sam?
Sam: It's cold outside.
P: (sings) Baby, it's cold outside.
S: Don't sing, you can't.
P: I can sing and I do.
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P: I'm nice to you all the time.
S: Oh yeah right!
P: I talk to you. I ask you questions. I give you hugs. I wager your pictures from boyscout camp.
S: (silence)
P: Hey, where'd you get this from Sam?
S: Justin gave it to me.
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Z: Is that the Index?
S: Yeah.
P: If it's an index, shouldn't they just have references to other papers?
S: Refrences to other papers?
P: You know like an actual index? . . . . Like in the back of a book?
S: No, I get it. It was just stupid.
P: Sam, I don't think you do get it.
S: No, I get it, I just chose not to respond.
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S: So, did Jeff Corwin bring animals?
P: Yeah.
S: Really?
P: Yeah.
S: Because I don't think he did: (reads quote from Index concerning Jeff Corwin NOT bringing any animals)
P: What kind of animals we talking about, Sam?
S: Like real animals.
P: Well, he brought animals, you just had to have a special pass to see them.
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P: Hey, if we're gonna be holding doors open for 'em they shouldn't be bitching about us making more money. Am I right, Sam?
S: Yeah.
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P: Them coloreds are taking over. You know what we should do? Kill 'em.
S: Have some good ol' hangings?
P: Then kill 'em.
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P: It's probably good if you're a girl and have a low sperm count, like zero.
S: (silence)
P: Well, I don't know, what do you think Beyer's sperm count was?
Z: Who's Beyer?
P: Coach Beyer.
S: (laugh) Probably.
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P: So, that's Chris Bass?
Z: Who?
P: The guy last night?
Z: Is that his name?
P: Yeah.
Z: Then yeah.
P: And he likes Tabs.
Z: I guess so.
P: He didn't look like a bad-looking guy did he?
Z: No, I guess he doesn't have much going for him.
P: Who, him?
Z: Yeah.
P: You know, black guys are screwed here. There's like three black chicks.
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Z: I gotta go to lunch soon.
P: When?
Z: Like 1:30, because I have class at 12.
S: You're gonna go at 1:30?
Z: I'm going at "shut up, Sam." I meant to say 11:30.
S: Yeah, thats what I thought.
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Z: Where ya going?
P: Class.
Z: You have a class.
P: Yeah.
Justin: I farted on your bed.
P: That's alright.
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Jenn: I would not be a bitch to somebody if I thought it would hurt their feelings. Know what I mean?
P: No.
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P: Tell me if this makes any sense, I was watching an interview with Jennifer Lopez about that movie where she's (yawns) a maid, ya know, and . . . whoa, you're like a ninja, I didn't even hear you come over here . . . (phone rings).
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Alison: Who's that
J: Michael Keaton. He doesn't make a very convincing rock star.
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J: Hey, if you were a hotdog, would you -- Oh my God . . . . Hotdogs!
| Mr. McBastard | 9:29 AM | | |
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